The Neurodivergent Editor: Finding Self-Compassion with Irene Doukas Behrman
Being neurodivergent brings a unique challenge to editors. While there’s no “right” way to be neurodivergent, some prefer remote or freelance jobs where there can be fewer distractions and they can control certain factors, like noise or light levels. But remote and freelance work can also be overwhelming to those struggling to keep up in a neurotypical workforce. With the pandemic bringing forth more remote jobs than ever before, and society shifting its understanding of how the brain works—leading to more people being diagnosed, especially among women—I have been increasingly interested in learning about what it means to be neurodivergent, especially as a freelancer.
So I was excited to be able to talk to Irene Doukas Behrman, an editor at Euro-Med Human Rights Monitor, over email about her experiences being neurodivergent and working remotely. The questions below are from me, Kristin Stein, and the answers are from Irene.
Q: How do you identify as neurodivergent?
A: There’s much discussion within neurodiverse communities about what that word means—I say communities (plural) because there’s all this debate about whether or not mental health disorders fall under the “neurodivergent umbrella” along with neurodevelopmental disorders. I have diagnoses of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), bipolar II disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder, and can kind of see both perspectives. What I’m most interested in personally is the idea that “different” brains are not inherently “bad.”
Photo of a woman working at a laptop surrounded by plants and a boba tea cup, by DoDo PHANTHAMALY from Pexels.
Q: What aspects of editing and writing do you find most challenging?
A: I’m not a prolific writer, but my job requires me to be a prolific editor! In classic ADHD style, I’m a hugely talented procrastinator. I have a love-hate relationship with routine. I don’t have a daily writing practice, and can go months without writing or editing my own stuff when I’m not in school. When it comes to paid or volunteer editing jobs, though, I frequently find myself completely engrossed in my work. Hours and hours will go by before I realize that I need to eat lunch or use the restroom or take a deep breath. As much as I hate and fear deadlines, I need them to function in society—and I do find my current work very fulfilling. So I’m forever seeking a balance between these two extremes. Working remotely while attending school remotely has been life-changing, by the way (Euro-Med Human Rights Monitor is a Geneva-based organization, and while at the University of New Hampshire I was granted permission by Student Accessibility Services to take classes remotely), and helps me feel way less overwhelmed because I have more flexibility when it comes to time. I think time is the enemy of all people, but especially those of us with ADHD! And especially those of us who commute to work and/or school.
Q: Do you devise a system—like checklists or sticky notes—to help you ensure you aren't forgetting something when working?
A: I swear I’ve tried everything—checklists, sticky notes, self-help books, and writing up daily, weekly, and monthly schedules with the help of special education teachers in high school or disability services support staff in college. This isn’t to say that everyone’s work has been in vain—it hasn’t—but so far, what works best for me is a combination of things: medication, therapy, a checklist or a sticky note here, a date on a calendar there (maybe this is because the ADHD brain likes novelty). And I am constantly texting myself one or two word reminders. Above all, what works is practicing self-compassion and refusing to beat myself up in the ways that I used to.
Q: What do you do to break out of focus when your brain just can't put something down?
A: I try to regulate my system by remembering that I exist in a body, by pausing to breathe or stretch or by taking a break to eat or drink something. Sometimes I’ll do something like call a friend, but there’s always the risk of getting sucked into an hours-long phone call. On the opposite end of things, if I’m procrastinating and can’t seem to put something down (usually my phone) and get to work, this is where the self-compassion I mentioned comes in. I used to believe that shame led to change, but I don’t anymore—at least in terms of any kind of real, positive change.
Q: Have you found any productivity aids or apps that help you focus?
A: I wouldn’t say it’s a productivity app, but I do use this free app called Sanvello to track my moods daily, which I feel leads to higher productivity. Like a lot of people, I really struggle with the concept of productivity in general, because of its association historically with capitalism, white supremacy, the “bootstraps” mentality, etc., but I’m learning that productivity doesn’t have to be toxic. I enjoy being productive at my current job, for example, because the nonprofit that employs me is an organization full of politically progressive people committed to helping those in need. And since I spent about a decade teaching toddlers and preschoolers, the novelty of working in a less frenzied environment hasn’t yet worn off. My mind is already frenzied, so I appreciate the solitude of remote work.
Q: When approaching something like task initiation, what are some strategies you've found to be helpful or not so helpful?
A: This is a potentially controversial answer, but I wouldn’t be able to do the consistent work that I do without medication. This might not be helpful to hear if you’re opposed to medication, but what I will say is that there are alternatives, some of them off-label, to heavy-duty stimulants like Adderall. I’m not knocking Adderall, I’m just one of the people it doesn’t work for in the long term—it really messes with my mood. Being prescribed medication for my ADHD allows me to dive into an assignment with the knowledge that I will be able to finish it. Prior to going on medication specifically to treat the ADHD symptoms, I’d never felt that before! I’d always felt a serious unease, like I was treading water all the time.
Q: What are some tips you would give someone who is newly diagnosed?
A: Diagnoses are powerful things. I don’t care about labels so much as about using them to get help, whether through therapy, medication, workplace accommodations, drop-in groups, self-help books, or lurking on Internet message boards (I’m pro-lurking, over here, as long as it’s done with a critical eye). My own diagnoses have ultimately changed my life for the better. I also think it’s important to note that my privilege is what allows me to feel comfortable about being so open—my white privilege and my financial safety net (e.g. I’m living at home with my parents right now, who are very comfortable financially) make it possible for me to speak openly about my ADHD, my bipolar, without fear of major consequences.
Q: You just finished your MFA–congrats! What are you looking forward to most as a new graduate?
A: Thank you! I went straight from getting my BFA to getting my MFA, so what I’m most looking forward to is remembering who I am outside of being a writing student. I think all of us are many things, and I’ve been focused on this single part of myself for the past several years. I want to grow as a person in new ways. I also like that editing lets me focus on the writing of others in a way that’s similar to creative writing courses and workshops, but also a lot different.
Q: Lastly, do you have any books or movies, unrelated to the topic of neurodiversity, that you've been enjoying?
Jacques Becker’s 1960 film, Le Trou! I can’t stop thinking about it.
Thank you for taking the time to talk with me, Irene!
